Here at Ways And Means HQ,The gifts were plentiful…

There were Continental Chocolates. We’re not sure which continent. Somwhwere with colorful hats, and chocolate that tastes vaguely like meat.

I got a new iPod!

We’ll open the rest of the gifts after breakfast.

To:Condor…I’m sorry about Killing your wife and unborn children. It was business, and not personal. When you escaped my underground lair, I noticd you droppd your crossbow. I hope this gift makes up for your loss. See you in Helsinki!

From: Baron Von Sinister.

I picked up this iPhone on Canal street. The touchscreen is smaller than it looks in commercials. Also, it has buttons?

Because a bike without a flux capacitor is no bike at all.

What kids need is a toy set that lets them imagine a dystopian post nuclear holocaust world where humans are slaves to a race of super-apes. And you wonder what’s wrong with people these days?

The problem with auto Racing as a sport? Not enough guns. 

Fly the “president’s” Air Force-1 Jet. Copywriter misusing quotes? or prophesy of the George W Bush years?

Notice how the One man rescue Helicopter let’s you go on a “pretend” flight? I bet that toy was a) awesome, and b) killed a lot of kids.

New Year’s resolution…More stewardesses. The call themselves flight attendants now. No matter. I shall bed them either way.

Irony free t-shirts? I’m confused.

It wouldn’t be Christmas without Christmas sweaters! And on Christmas, we don’t call it herpes…we call it “happies”

Merry Christmas to all…and to all a good night….