Daily Briefing from The Ways&Means regional office of Standards and Information.

It has been noticed that japanes clothing and business concern Uniqlo has attempted some form of new electronic communication. We’re not sure what they’re trying to say, but it seems important. Our foreign Bureau has been assigned this case.

It has come to our attention that International luggage manufacturers The Louis Vuitton Company have compiled a sampling of world travelers that epitomize their brand. From what I can tell, Kanye West didn’t make the list. Further proof that he is indeed a fraud of the highest magnitude. W&M Hall of Fame Inductee Keith Richards did make the cut. No surprise there.

The term “watergate” is a reference to the Watergate complex, A Washington DC Office-Apartment-Hotel complex built in 1967. Our Office of Standards and Usage would like it known that simply adding ther suffix “-gate” to imply a scandal is discouraged on grounds of laziness and boorishness. Once considered a possible location for the W&M Institute of Social Engineering, but abandoned due to poor security.

It is with much sadness that we report on the passing of three great men.

Alton Kelly - Psychedelic poster artist extrodinaire.

Bo Diddley - Father of Rock & Roll

Sidney Pollack - Director of many fine films, including one of the highest rated films in the W&M film archives, Three Days of the Condor.

A final ten count and a moment of silence for three titans of arts and letters. 

::end of transmission.